have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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