I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
