Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
