So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
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you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I stole a fireplace last night.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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