Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
