Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
grandma shit on top of the toilet
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
