Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I supernannyed him into submission
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize