I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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