Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
