The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
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organizing the empties. That sober.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
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If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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