Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
