I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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