capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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