Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
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"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
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It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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