i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
