i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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