I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
