Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
