remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
