why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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