Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
