i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize