I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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