We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
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Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
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how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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