The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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