Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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