Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So many bounce houses so little time
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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