Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
