I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
