brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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