I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
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