the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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