So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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