I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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