Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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