he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
