chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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