I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
