yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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