I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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