turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize