You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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