I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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