well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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