we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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