We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
