writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
