So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
