hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
