My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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