He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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