rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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