He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
