"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
