Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Please, let me fuck your mom
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
