Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
