yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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