All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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