Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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