how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
