Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
