dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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