I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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