so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
